TTC part 1 - a little about us

Our Trying to Conceive Journey

Me and my other half. Known each other since we were 11. Fancied each other since we were 11. I have notes I wrote listing my top 5 guys – he was always on my list. But we weren’t friends, we didn’t share any classes, didn’t know each other to talk to really. When we were 16 he started going out with my mate. The three of us used to share fags in the morning on the field opposite the school. It turned out we had loads in common. Same music, same films. And I still fancied him and he says he fancied me too – despite us both being in other relationships. Then, when we were 20 we bumped into each other outside a night club. We were both single and the rest, as they say, is history. We have had our ups and downs. We did long distance for several years. We split for a while but found our way back to each other. It’s always been him. He keeps me grounded and balances me out. And it kills me that I can’t give him a child. He would be (will be) an amazing father. So when we got back together having a family was on the cards immediately. I don’t think we even discussed it – we both just knew it was what we wanted. But, I have always felt like I couldn’t get pregnant. I had a few ovulation issues when I was in my 20s but I just knew…..so we went to the doctors and began the tests. Everything was fine. I was ovulating, which surprised me as I had always had irregular periods. But there was no reason they could find to explain why we couldn’t conceive. This was Oct 2012 (we had gotten engaged the previous June). And then on 7^th December 2012 my dad died. One minute he was there and the next he had gone. I have never needed my dad more than I do now. I miss him and feel his loss desperately. Needless to say, through our grief, we put things on hold. Then, when we were ready, we went back to the doctors. Retook the tests. This took ages for several reasons. In November I went for my hystopingapongagram. Or something. This is where they insert the dye into your tubes to check for blockages. And it fucking hurt! But no problems were found. In January 2015 we were told our best option was IVF. I was a bit shocked as I had expected fertility drugs perhaps for 6 months first and maybe a few goes at artificial insemination. But no, based on out test results they decided there was no point wasting time with the other options.

So we began. The injections weren’t too bad really, luckily we could use an autoinjector which made life a lot easier. For those who don’t know, the morning injections shut down your body so that the clinic can take it over. It is essentially like going through the menopause (and I had the hot flushes to go with it). I had terrible headaches and felt extremely lethargic but they were the only side effects I had. Once I started the evening injections I felt much better. These are more complicated as you have to mix powders and all sorts. The evening injections basically make you grow as many eggs as possible – which will increase the chance of getting more embryos. At that point every other day you go and get intimately acquainted with the dildo cam. The nurses count and measure all the follicles – they need to be around 18mm to be retrieved. I seemed to be doing quite well….I think had 23 eggs at one point all between 15 – 20 mm – I genuinely was walking with a limp the weekend before egg collection! 3 days before egg collection you take one more injection which matures the eggs ready to be collected. So, I was booked in on the Monday and at my clinic you get signed off for two weeks from this point. I didn’t know what to expect really and there was lots of waiting around as we were third on the list. So, eventually I put the gowns in and went into the operating theatre, feeling very nervous as had never had any kind of operation. But the team were all great and before I knew it I was under and away with the fairies. The procedure takes about 45 minutes. I woke up to find my other half and the nurse who informed us we collected 11 eggs. We were delighted! We always knew there was only a very small chance IVF will work first time, so more than anything we wanted to collect enough eggs to fertilise so that potentially we would freeze some and try again (this would still be covered by NHS). So home we went, feeling for the first time quite excited, ready to wait for the phone call the next day.